his feelings kinda waver back and forth between "/o/ YAY KAORU I LOVE THAT GUY LOOK AT HIM NOT GETTING TORTURED OR KILLED YAAAAY \o\" and "why did I tell him the truth he's going to figure me out and once he does he will hate me forever /o\"
So he is trying to be as normal as possible at all times, even though a good part of him genuinely wants to do like I had him do in the dream and be like "sit down, shut up, let me handle this," which I think is probably what he did with 4yr Shell once all the original members cycled out and he cared more about keeping them safe than he did them liking or respecting him.
But he cares a lot about Kaoru's opinion of him, which is probably a good thing because it stops him from enacting plans like "but what if I just had someone kidnap Kaoru and let Hikaru save him, I bet that would cheer Hikaru up :|a"
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So he is trying to be as normal as possible at all times, even though a good part of him genuinely wants to do like I had him do in the dream and be like "sit down, shut up, let me handle this," which I think is probably what he did with 4yr Shell once all the original members cycled out and he cared more about keeping them safe than he did them liking or respecting him.
But he cares a lot about Kaoru's opinion of him, which is probably a good thing because it stops him from enacting plans like "but what if I just had someone kidnap Kaoru and let Hikaru save him, I bet that would cheer Hikaru up :|a"
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