Suoh Tamaki (須王 環) (
sparklyrichbastard) wrote2014-10-14 01:39 pm
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Questions meme, questions meme~~~!
Ask and ye shall be answered!
Tamaki and Keyes in Dreamland!
Prince the Great in Pearl!
King and Kong in Kyrakios!
Simon Blackquill in gays with Fool Bright!
Probably some other characters I'm forgetting!
Tamaki and Keyes in Dreamland!
Prince the Great in Pearl!
King and Kong in Kyrakios!
Simon Blackquill in gays with Fool Bright!
Probably some other characters I'm forgetting!
no subject
So basically, his feelings toward Kaoru right now are love and guilt and relief and more guilt and wanting to cuddle, but murderers don't get cuddles.
He doesn't know where he stands with the others, but it's fairly apparent to him that Kaoru still wants to be friends... which only makes Tamaki wonder if it's right for him to still be Kaoru's friend, due to the way he acted while he was still in VIP mode. Not just the killing, but the being-a-bad-friend. And of course most of his behavior was the fault of the brainwashing, but not always in a direct way; in this case, part of the conditioning that kept him from cracking was the inability to make the logical connection between the actions he was taking and his friends being upset. So he could acknowledge "I 'killed' Kyouya" as well as "Kaoru is sad because he thinks Kyouya is dead," but couldn't logically bridge the gap between those two pieces of information. Seeing no reason to blame himself for Kaoru's sadness, he still tried to comfort Kaoru in what was a mostly sincere way... but knowing as he did that it was all a "game," and unable to take any responsibility for what he did, he couldn't help but take a perverse satisfaction in being able to get so close to Kaoru. So basically, he's beating himself up for taking emotional advantage.
So it's just awkward. It's like, I still want to be friends, you still want to be friends, but maybe nobody should be my friend anymore??? And not having any idea how to address the situation.
r-reverse